My dad has been fighting the BIG fight this past year. He was diagnosed with cancer and has courageously, humbly, honestly endured his health care regimen. In November he had setbacks of infection that further challenged his goal toward his new "normal" life but again he consistently put the best attitude and face on things. That gift he provides for those of us who must watch and hope with no real clue as to what he is feeling all the time is HUGE.
Yesterday I spent a few hours with him just visiting and he was in an unusually talkative mode. I sat with the expectation that I was going to talk, frame the direction of conversation and keep him "busy" with my words but he led the way.
As I sat and fully immersed myself in what he was saying I realized the gift this opportunity to fully listen provided to both of us. My mind quieted and I became completely engaged in his thoughts and stories. After a bit I felt this peace of knowing that I was receiving and giving and it was so EASY to do. I had nothing to say, no need to speak. It was lovely.
I gave the good of listening and received in return. Who has done this for you? Who have you given the gift of listening in your life?
Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts.
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The art of listening....perhaps only one of the lost arts our civilization is pushing to the way side, yet some people, especially women have valued and cultivated that skill. Intrinsically, we all need to be listened to and to be heard.
What a gift you are giving your father and to yourself. What a valuable precious time for both of you.You recognize it and I'm sure he does, too, that you are both actively, positively participating in the life situation he ....and you are being presented with.
Deep listening is pure Love and connectiveness. A person feels genuinely valued. Silence on the part of the listener creates a sacred space for healing.
Blessings to you and your dear father, Sherry, Marsha
Posted by: Marsha Hines | December 22, 2007 at 07:12 AM
I loved this post! Like you, I've also found that the act of listening -- without judgment or commentary -- creates a special, sometimes unexpected, connection. With elderly parents or young children especially, those moments when they feel free to confide dreams or disappointments are truly sacred.
Posted by: Brenda Friedrich | January 26, 2008 at 08:28 AM
Thanks for sharing your good experience with listening Brenda.
Posted by: Sherry Borzo | January 27, 2008 at 12:33 PM