Good and Beyond

Mission

To recognize the GOOD all around us in our everyday lives and to dialogue about things that truly matter.

ego good or bad? Is that an ego question?

I sat down with friend Scarlett to talk about communication style issues for myself and hubby. We walked away with some things to think about which was great. I also realized that perhaps I'm being led by one facet of myself, this piece called ego, more strongly than the other parts.

It's all kind of "out there" for me as I read around the subject of ego today. Am I like the bull with the ring in my nose being led by my ego first? Is my ego something I must work to suppress or acknowledge and then ignore?

I'm also pondering the concept of emotion in a culture where anti-depressants are imbibed frequently and labels like bipolar are flitted about liberally. Is emotion the byproduct of ego?

Humanity can be cruel but human flaws can also be the fodder of great art, literature, and music and good comedy too. I don't want to be flat-lined emotionally because I like the highs and the consequent lows. I think emotion can bring me in the moment and remind me of my humble humanity too. But maybe looking outside objectively at myself would be good . . . if I can set my ego in the backseat.

If our form for the time-being is human then identifying our humanness seems okay. On the other hand recognizing what part of myself is at play in a situation can be empowering and certainly save some time too. And if we are spirits encased in human form with the wobbly bits of the human condition as our package, then it seems sort of counter-intuitive to strive to be spirit in human form.

I don't fully understand I know but it seems strange to aspire kill off the sad little-big ego entirely. Maybe this is my own ego battling for prominence?

Maybe there is a way to recognize all and be empowered to decide to lead with a part of ourselves that represents our "true" self? Or maybe our true self is the good, the bad, and the ugly. Self improvement is GOOD but also very stressful.

photo by thephotoholic, powered by flickr

Getting back to the groove right now!

I've fallen off a few activities that were good for me and settled into a winter slump. For one thing I've stopped running. I reached several personal goals with running and then realized I wasn't enjoying it or even the rush of accomplishing the task anymore. I'm okay with that so long as I find something else to stick with as a form of exercise. That is the tough thing ----the STICKING part.

I'm proud of myself for accomplishing my past running goals because I truly am not the typical type to succeed at athletic things. I was never athletic and my attention span is generally short for most everything. However, for reasons I could not fully understand when I started, I stuck to it and ran several events and got up to being able to run a distance of 5 miles. That was great. I want to find something else (probably walking) to replace the activity.

Another thing that has waned is my personal sense of spiritual growth. These days I feel like I don't spend as much time "searching" out ideas and concepts as I did a couple of years ago. I've become self-help jaded so that when I hear rhetoric from "How To Sources" I start thinking, "Oh I've heard that before. Tell me something NEW to engage me."

Then there are the things I say I would like to do but have never formerly included in my day such as meditation. I "believe" this to be something of value but find it stressful to sit and be "quiet" so I procrastinate my way out of even trying. Then when I do try and find I'm looking at the clock 4 minutes later that sets off feelings of failure which has nothing to do with quieting the mind.

The question I pose for myself and anyone else who can relate:  What stops us from doing those things we "say" we want to do?

Maybe my block is my present state of mind about where I am right now. As Peter C. over at I Will Change Your Life states, "We spend so much of our lives regretting things that have already happened, or hoping for things to come, that we forget to live for today." Peter goes on to offer some suggestions of how to be in the present. Yes. I've heard this before but maybe it bears repeating.

So what's good right now? The ability to embrace these goals of mine perhaps and my desire to incorporate change. That is my good thing. How about you?

photo by guelphguy powered by flickr

The Necessity of Winter

I thought this was apropo of how a lot of people are feeling this long, dark winter, at least I am. That doesn't mean I go around feeling gloomy and such, but even more honkered down and reflective than usual. On the other hand,  I'm busy planting Paper Whites and Tulip bulbs, hating the word "forced" as seems opposite of Nature, but they are all in the little box with their bulbs already sprouting roots and just waiting to be planted in someone's warm house anyway....at least that's how my mind justifies buying them. They bring much joy to myself and my 3 year-old grandson who watches with glee as they grow more and more each day.

I love the essay below and wanted to share with you. How are you feeling and recognizing all the good around you and allowing it to bloom and blossom?

Growing in silence and solitude, Marsha

Mysterious Beginnings
The Necessity Of Winter

As any gardener knows, the bulbs that contain the beautiful flowers of spring and summer-daffodils, irises, tulips, gladiolas-cannot bloom until they have endured a period of cold. Held in the dark earth during the frigid winter months, they undergo internal adjustments and changes invisible to our eyes. Like babies gestating in the lightless, watery wombs of their mothers, they are fully engaged in the process of preparing to be born. So many of the greatest mysteries of life begin this way, with a powerful urge for growth enclosed in a small, dark space.

We humans have a tendency to yearn for the light, for the coming of spring, and for the more visible phase of growth that all things express in coming to be. In our love for what we can see with our eyes we sometimes lose patience for, and interest in, the world of darkness that nurtures and protects the seeds, bulbs, and babies of the world for such an important part of their life cycles. It is a perilous and mysterious phase of growth, and one that we have little control over, and perhaps that is why we don't celebrate it with quite the same passion as we do the lighter and brighter phases of life. Nevertheless, we ourselves endure similar periods of developing in the darkness throughout our lives.

photo by  Cañas photography

regroup, rethink

It's easy to get bummed and see what doesn't work but often if I take a little break, grab some fresh air, take a walk, and give something some space I can come at it with new eyes and new vision. Take a second look, rethink the issue is a great thing and feels so good. What can you step back from and rethink? Here is some great rethinking in action.

exercising my right to think positive

Logic tells me when stuff happens I have two ways to look at the situation . . . either negative or positive. Too often I've allowed myself to wallow in the negative knowing that it does not really serve me well. If I "know" that though why would I head that direction in my head? Habit.

So from this day going forward I am uttering a new mantra in my head . . . one that may help me settle the score on several bad habits including focus on the fear and negative. I'm exercising my right to think positive. I practice here for you now.

I was downsized out of my job a few weeks ago. I knew it was coming and I've been working to prepare for it the past couple of years. My think positive message, "Great, now I can determine my worth and build the business of my dreams."

My 21-year-old son went to work for the Peace Corps in South Africa about two weeks ago. We won't be able to talk with him much. My positive message, "He is wonderful, happy, and doing what he really wants to do. I'm so proud of the person he is and the privilege of having participated thus far in his life."

I'm 15 pounds overweight and don't take proper care of myself. "I can improve and more importantly I can have fun and feel better in the process."

There . . . I already feel lifted.

We have been slammed with quite a bit of snow this past couple of days and it is February with more winter ahead. My positive message, "Spring will come but enjoy the snow."

Here is some video of my dog Poochie giving me a reason to laugh.

How can you exercise your right to think positive? Isn't it great to always have that choice!!

A spiritual memoir process

The Emergence of Me......

                   Who am I and Where am I > a writing assignment

Aligned with my higher-self, I am the voice and hands of God expressing Himself on earth as St. Teresa of Avila says. I am a woman who is still finding her own voice and balance though healing workshops, relationships and participation in community wishing she had already found it. A woman who is softening her edges. One who has asked to experience all that this life has to offer though often fearful when mired down in the dark shadow side. 

Personality-wise, I “identify” myself as a highly sensitive, loving woman who expresses herself creatively as a devoted grandmother, as a mother who dances the dance with her daughter, and as a good and generous friend. 

My “where” is being mindful of life’s simple pleasures and forever grateful for everything on my journey whether I deem it good or bad. Bull-dozing my past beliefs and wandering my path of self-discovery, I walk in my own wisdom. Simply being present in the now is “who I am and where I am."

*** I thought I'd share with you a writing exercise I just finished for a writing class I'm taking on "Writing your Spiritual Memoirs". It just flowed out ( Oh sure! After many, many refinements as it had to be just 175 words) but naturally after rewriting so many times, I had to question, IS this actually who I am right now or my ideal-self? That's a question I have to ask myself quite often. So much of my life story is who I want to go towards and yet, because I carry those ideal aspects with me all the time, they are me! My dark dark shadow side slips in, of course, but as the pendulum swings.............balance is achieved.

Who are you?........and naturally, we're all good.

~ Blessings, Marsha

If you stumble, make it part of your dance.

When I "stumbled" across this sentence, I instantly loved it! It seemed to OK all the little falters we have in life. Almost like, "Yeah, I stumbled ( still do), made choices that I judge as not brilliant, but, hey, it's all part of it>> it's all GOOD!" It's now magnetized on my refrigerator where I can see it everyday while I'm waltzing across the kitchen floor.

Where would we all be without our stumbles? Arid, sterile, perfectionists, judger's of others stumbles> self righteous.....but oh, how THAT used to make me feel OK during a time when I was trying not to make so many mistakes with such control and rigidness so I could feel OK. I held other's stumbles up to the light and found them "guilty". Naturally, as Michael Ruiz says in The Four Agreements, I had to punish them and that was by being aloof, better-than, etc, etc.  WELL........

Then life in all it's Universal Laws glory, allowed me to experience imperfections, stumbles and deep falls into crevices.....and I thank IT now! I wouldn't dare get into all that past history and patterns as there isn't enough space or time, and this is about the GOOD that was even surrounding that time, but of course, without my recognition and awareness. I slowly developed an empathy and compassion and love for other people that I never could have developed before my stumbling experiences. It takes longer to develop all that for oneself than it does for others for some reason ( actually it's back to the finding oneself guilty and punishing oneself that is pretty heavy and delays the forgiveness and self-love), but the journey continues. My current "God speaks to me through books" book is Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. OH MY GOD..... I know from my heart that this book should be given to every woman the minute her divorce decree is announced along with a one year sabbatical to Italy, India and Indonesia ( this is where the author takes us). My life certainly would be different now or I at least would have arrived at a better point earlier than I did. I sincerely recommend to the divorce courts to assign this task to divorced woman.

I really don't digress too much as one of the brilliant choices I made many moons ago was to divorce my husband of 23 years and marry my psychologist 6 weeks later and then we were divorced 4 years later ( LONG, LONG story!). This book, which I wouldn't have actually been ready for, might have turned my life in another direction sooner, but all our journeys are GOOD and necessary to arrive at the destination we are meant to "in the beginning" and I am thankful for all the twists and turns mine has taken over the years. I'm not "done cookin" yet and don't plan on it until.............never.

Where is your journey taking you? Is it a wild ride or slow & struggling? What are you resisting and allowing? Are you cultivating self-love or finding fault with every little thing you do and are? Your choice!

Namaste, Marsha

say it with me C-L-A-R-I-T-Y

I'm experimenting with a new podcast tool and also talking about my nervana of goals for 2008. Listen here

photo by allspice1, powered by flickr

The good listening

My dad has been fighting the BIG fight this past year. He was diagnosed with cancer and has courageously, humbly, honestly endured his health care regimen. In November he had setbacks of infection that further challenged his goal toward his new "normal" life but again he consistently put the best attitude and face on things. That gift he provides for those of us who must watch and hope with no real clue as to what he is feeling all the time is HUGE.

Yesterday I spent a few hours with him just visiting and he was in an unusually talkative mode. I sat with the expectation that I was going to talk, frame the direction of conversation and keep him "busy" with my words but he led the way.

As I sat and fully immersed myself in what he was saying I realized the gift this opportunity to fully listen provided to both of us. My mind quieted and I became completely engaged in his thoughts and stories. After a bit I felt this peace of knowing that I was receiving and giving and it was so EASY to do. I had nothing to say, no need to speak. It was lovely.

I gave the good of listening and received in return. Who has done this for you? Who have you given the gift of listening in your life?

Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts.

photo by brittneybush powered by flickr

Contemplation

There are certain days I just have to love myself even more than usual as I observe what I would define as my quirkiness or eccentric behaviors or whatever. I'm sitting at my computer with a cup of extra bold  Starbucks and to counter the acidic aspect of that, I am also drinking a glass of Bragg's organic apple cider vinegar. I take a sip of each and "believe" the vinegar ( from what I've read) in counterless health magazines) will counter my bad health habit of drinking coffee. I started drinking vinegar when I was experiencing deep depression after my first child was born 34 years ago. I won't get into ALL the actually funny stuff I did, but hey, what trips your trigger, lifts your mood and allows one moment of peace. If not only physically good for you, the psychological effect is big. You would think I would just quit drinking strong coffee, BUT I find the ritual comforting ( if not exactly calming). I woke up to my Christmas tree toppled over and my living space is a disaster as I brought home a ton of staging accessories ,artwork & futirnute from a home that recently sold. It actually looks like a mini Homemakers. Need any home furnishing for the holidays??!!

I have so many more intriguing situations that pop up in December, it's just not a priority to organize & clean.........yet. It's that "Whatever" attitude and that IS peaceful. I choose Peace. In a good sense, I'm surrounded by my favorite stuff that I have shared in other people's homes that seemed to accelerate their sale and they can now move on to their new beginnings. That makes me feeeelllll gooood !!! It's like my gift to them, a service, as it would actually be embarrassing if any client knew how much time I spent in the process of deciding what to go into their home, arranging-rearranging it and then taking it out ( this last time it was during in a snow storm....in a pick up truck). A woman does what a woman's gotta do. It pays my mortgage and satisfies my heart and creative urgings.....how could it get better than that.

On the actual contemplation note as the title of this piece states:

I sent the following statements to a nephew in Denver, CO,  who is facing some life challenges to see if by filling in the blanks it would give him some clarity. I ended up sending them to many friends and answering them myself  (my answers change as I do). I have an addiction to knowing more & more about myself as I highly believe reflection gives me more wisdom about life and relationships on this planet and also my connection to God, my Higher Awareness. As in Heaven, as on Earth.

Wonderful statements to contemplate in your quiet times this season> take 'em!!

Passion means:

The most poignant questions for me, if answered, will be liberation from:

I hunger for:

If I allow intuition to speak to me about this segment of my life, my gut instinct will say:

I fell most blessed when I:

My life has flowed most serenely when:

I feel most trapped when:

The following people bring joy into my life:

Situations that light up my life are:

If there is one fear holding me back from opening the doors, it is:

( THIS is a good one!)  I know for sure that:

Peace be with you!

~ Marsha

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